I have been avoiding writing his birth story for some reason. But it's something that I don't want to forget, so I'm going to give it a shot.
At the 34 week ultrasound we found out that little Owen was only at the 10th percentile in weight. The doctors were not too concerned because all other checks were normal. I then had to check in twice a week for non-stress tests to watch baby's movement and heartbeat and to check the amniotic fluid level. Everything looked great. At the 37 week ultrasound he had gained weight, just not enough. He was below the 10th percentile, so the doctor decided to induce. I was put on bedrest for 1 week, then it was off to the hospital for the dreaded sequence of induction.
We arrived the evening of the 17th and got settled into the labor/delivery room. The doctor give me a medicine called Cervadil that evening that was supposed to "ripen" my cervix overnight. At about 7 the next morning I was having rhythmic contractions, was 2 cm dilated and 60% effaced and I started to get really excited. It all seemed like a weird dream until that point. It was then that I realized that I was going to meet my son, and I was in great spirits. The nurse started the Pitocin to ramp up the strength of my contractions at 8am. They got to be about 1.5 to 2 minutes apart and a bit stronger, but no worse than the bad menstrual cramps I was used to. I was up and moving around a lot, pacing by my bed and sitting on my birthing ball. I was on continuous monitoring due to the risk factors involved with Owen being so small. At about 2pm the contractions were becoming more intense, so we called my doula, Tammy, to come in. I wanted everything to continue to progress because I new the sequence of events that were to come if not. I was on my feet most of the time and doing a lot of squatting and rocking to help my pelvis open up. I felt great and so confident. As the intensity increased I started using my hypnobirthing techniques to help me relax through the contractions. I was so proud of myself for being up and doing all the things that "they" say helps to move labor along. Around 5pm the doctor came in to check and see how things were going. It was disappointing to find that I was still at 2cm and only 80% effaced after 10 hours. The doctor wanted to break my water then, but I asked if I could have a little more time to see if I could get things moving on my own. My doula helped me with positioning and more squatting and I concentrated on relaxing completely during contractions. Again, I felt great and was having only discomfort with the contractions. At 8pm the doctor came back for another check. No change. She broke my water soon after and almost immediately I starting having some pain in my low back. I could feel the contractions coming on stronger with a feeling of somebody pulling tight on a band around my abdomen and back. I actually enjoyed the pain if that's possible. I was just happy that things were moving again.
My hypnobirthing was great, I was relaxing and handling each contraction by not moving and just breathing through it quietly. As the baby inched his way down the pain in my back kept getting worse. Then I started vomiting. I felt out of control of my body as the vomiting continued with every other contraction and I got the shakes so bad that it looked like I was having a seizure. The contractions in my abdomen were still not that bad, but the back labor I was now experiencing was becoming unbearable. Ciel and Tammy took turns putting counter pressure on my lower back and that helped for a while, but the pain was getting more intense. I got on all fours on the bed - a position that is supposed to help relieve back labor - and tried to breathe through. The pain was so bad at this point that I was moaning very loudly through every contraction, then throwing up after. That's when I started wondering if I could do it.
I made a decision at that point to get an epidural. It had been almost 4 hours of having this excruciating back labor, and I didn't think my body, or my mind at that point, could handle much more. Weeks earlier I had gone over my birth "preferences" with Ciel and Tammy. I knew there were certain things that I did and did not want to happen during the birth of my child. I was also planning on having a natural childbirth, or as natural as possible being in a hospital. Quite a few of those ideas got thrown out the window when we found out that I would have to be induced, but I was still hoping to avoid pain medication. The number one reason I didn't want an epidural is that a lot of times it will actually slow your labor down, and since my water broke I only had so many hours to have the baby before the doctor would want to do a c-section. I have attended many births through my work and now have had a child of my own, and I still don't know why having a baby in the hospital has to be so complicated.
Per my request, after I said I wanted an epidural Ciel said okay, but lets see how the next couple of contractions go. After those three I still wanted it. Tammy then had me change positions and helped me through a few more. I still wanted it. The pain was so bad that it didn't seem real. Before I got the epidural the doctor wanted to check me again. I was only 5cm. That sealed my decision, there was no way I could make it through the many hours it would take to get to 10cm. So I got an epidural. I could have kissed the anesthesiologist - though he probably wouldn't have appreciated that considering I had been puking for the past 4 hours. I felt so much better, like I just woke from a bad dream. The nurse then told us to try and get some sleep since it may be a while now. Ciel made up the little fold out bed and we turned out the lights. The nurse came back in a few minutes later and said she was still waiting on the nurse anesthetist to come and hook up the epidural continuous infusion (the doctor that put it in only gave me one dose to see if it was in the right position. I told her that I wasn't having any pain, but felt a lot of pressure. That prompted her to check me again. To our surprise the baby was way down and I was 8cm and 100% effaced! My doctor was called to come back to the hospital because we were having a baby!
My doctor arrived to find that I was at 10cm and ready to push. This is about an hour after the epidural was placed and I still didn't have the maintenance dose hooked up. Which was just as well because the baby would be out soon. I had heard from other moms that when you got to push it was a relief. That is so true. The epidural was wearing off and I was having intense contractions, but now that I could push through them the pain was almost gone. We also found that the reason I was having such bad back labor was that Owen was turned "sunny side up", that is with the back of his head pushing on my spine. As I pushed the doctor was able to turn him - ouch - and before I knew it the nurse was telling me to reach down and feel his head. I couldn't believe this was really happening...Owen was on his way! I pushed with everything I had, concentrating on pushing at just the right spot, and only 30 minutes later, at 1:20am, my baby boy was laying on my chest. He didn't cry right away, but was looking around wondering what was going on. After a little coaxing he gave us a good wail and turned pink, then we spent the next 10 minutes getting to know each other. What an awesome moment, we are a family.
(While Owen and I were the focus of this story, Ciel was there the whole time, holding my hand, coaching me through, and even changing out my puke bucket. He was strong when I needed it and full of pure love when I needed it. I couldn't have done it without him. Maybe sometime he can recount his experience as well.)
As for my big plans of natural childbirth and hypnobirthing -
I don't regret for one single second that I got an epidural. I did the best I could for as long as I could, and it turned out that the best decision I made was to get the epidural. It helped me relax enough that Owen arrived only an hour and a half after. When the doctor was checking the cord after his birth we found what may be the reason he was not growing as he should have. There was what they call a true knot it his cord. At some point back when he was small enough to do somersaults in my belly, he actually managed to tie a knot in his cord. So, it was also a good thing that I was induced early - if he had the chance to wrap the cord around one of his legs or his head before he was born, it could have pulled that knot tight and cut off circulation through the cord. I shutter to think about what could have happened.
As I sit here now, watching my baby boy sleeping, I wouldn't change a thing. Our labor and delivery was our experience together, and in the end we are both healthy and happy. I look forward to all the experiences we will have together in the future...as mom and son. What a beautiful thing.
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